Tidying for the last time
I have hoarding tendencies. But, in all fairness it’s genetic. (Don’t worry I know hoarding is technically not a genetic trait.) Growing up my mom and dad joked about our attic falling through the ceiling. They held onto almost everything from me and my sisters’ childhood, including stuffed animals, clothes, blankets, bedding, strollers and even the iconic Easy-Bake Oven.
Flash forward to owning my first home, and things haven’t changed much. Living in a 1,200 square foot house seemed perfect. Less space and less mess to clean up, right? Wrong. I somehow managed to cram every corner with my belongings. And in a 1970s home, there isn’t much storage space to go around. (How did they manage?!) After being in the house for six years, I now realize that the lack of storage space is a blessing. Recently it’s forced me to deal with my overabundance of “stuff.” Up until last spring my way to deal with clutter was to put everything “away” in our spare bedroom. It became a messy heap until family would come into town, and everything would be temporarily moved into the garage or stuffed in a closet. A couple days after our family would leave, the room would return to a disaster zone.
So with all this stuff, my husband and I started to feel like we needed a bigger house to breathe – or at least a storage shed. One evening as I was tidying the papers, phone chargers, cups, and toys that accumulated on the kitchen bar and entrance table, something in me finally broke. I felt suffocated by the crowded space I had created. I could no longer walk into my spare room. Seriously, it was a land mine that had to be correctly maneuvered or I would either break a limb or be forever lost in the pile of crafts, toys, and papers. When I actually needed something, I spent at least 10 minutes trying to hunt it down in that room. If I didn’t have a small recollection of where I had placed it, there was no chance in finding it.
I remembered previous conversations with friends about the Japanese art of decluttering. On a mission, I hunted down Marie Kondo’s book, “The Act of Tidying,” and it gave me the mental perspective to take on my house.
The premise of the KonMari method developed by Marie Kondo is to keep only those items that bring you joy. Through the process, you gain clarity about the things that matter most to you. The KonMari method explains that tidying is not just a physical event. It is a mental event too. We have to change our habits and way of thinking in order to not rebound to clutter once we are done tidying. And, storage is not the answer. It only creates more clutter as we have to find more places to put our boxes, vacuum-seal bags, and bins.
I realized that the problem was not the size of my house but that I held on to so much stuff! And, I am not alone. Consider that the average American house is 2,600 square feet with over 300,000 items in it (LA Times). There is a storage business nearly on every corner with 2.3 billion square feet of self-storage space in the United States. What if instead of needing more storage solutions and money to afford the storage solutions, we just had less stuff to store?
Decluttering my home helped bring life into focus. Having less isn’t my overall goal. It’s about creating space in my life for the things that bring me joy. A lifestyle that is simple, focused and meaningful. It is about creating an environment that enhances my mental well-being.
After reading “The Act of Tidying,” I realized several mistakes that led me to my never-ending cycle of clutter.
- I keep things that I will use “someday,” but “someday” never comes.
- I clean by room and not by category.
- I clean a little at a time every day.
- I hold onto things (especially clothes) that I no longer need because I don’t want to go out and purchase something new - even when those new things could bring me joy. I settle for wearing maternity shirts when I’m not pregnant, keeping skirts that I haven’t worn since college, and hoarding shirts that have lost their fit because I feel there is no need to buy new clothes when I have a closet full of them. But then I realized that I have a closet full of clothes I no longer wear. What if it was hard to pick something to wear because I loved everything in my closet and not because I didn't want to wear any of it.
Part of my journey is to focus on the things that matter most to me, and tidying my house daily is not one of those. So stay tuned as I use the KonMari method to create a more peaceful home that requires less tidying. I’m sure there will bumps along the way!
Have you used the KonMari method or another strategy to minimize your belongings? I’d love to hear what you found most effective about the process you used. Leave a comment below!
